About “sorry for being a burden”
I hiked and talked philosophy for a bit more than an hour. I covered a broad set of topics related to the expression “sorry for being a burden”. An overview:
- We start feeling like a burden when we are coping with some difficult situation. We think that others are doing well, while we are not.
- We do not want to bring others to our misery, so we avoid them.
- Not wanting to externalise our negativity in this way comes from a good starting point: we consider the wellness of others.
- An explanation of how this apparent altruism is biased both against us and against the others. We think we are worthless while they are impeccable.
- When we think we are a burden, we develop a sense of egocentrism even though we do not want to. We do it by obsessing about our condition.
- Our obsession turns into a misplaced sense of exceptionalism as we think we are special in our agony: “I am special because I am the only one who suffers”.
- There is a “transmission mechanism” by which this ostensible burden can be distributed. Explanation of how this relates to the communicative aspect of the human condition.
- We cannot opt out of our humanity. To be sorry for being human is pointless. We always communicate.
- When we communicate with others, we open ourselves to their positivity. In general, we remove the obstacles that worsen our condition.
- Explanation of moderation, of finding a middle way between the extremes.
- More comments on the perversion of self-hatred that masquerades as altruism.
- Practical ways to gradually escape from the overthinking loop. We break the cycle by acting. Also comment on one’s physical condition and how idle energy is contributing to the problem.
- We live in a world where we forget to be human sometimes and are absorbed in our little bubble—practical step to avoid that.
- Example with how we do not control how others perceive our messages and why we should not blame our self or them.
- Don’t judge and be patient.