Protesilaos Stavrou

Interpretation of “I now begin to remember” by Pavlos Pavlides

For this entry I have picked a beloved old song from the now-defunct band Ta Xylina Spathia (Τα Ξύλινα Σπαθιά): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aytFh3B_Ex0. Though I prefer this other version, which is performed live by Pavlos Pavlides and the accompanying musicians: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zky0jeGhZaM. Pavlos was the lead singer/songmaker of Ta Xylina Spathia, making this a worthy successor.

Below are the original lyrics, my translation of them, and further comments.

Remember to also check other interpretations of mine related to Pavlos Pavlides or Ta Xylina Spathia:

Τώρα αρχίζω και θυμάμαι

Ερμηνεία:  Παύλος Παυλίδης
Στίχοι:    Τα Ξύλινα Σπαθιά (Παύλος Παυλίδης)
Μουσική:   Τα Ξύλινα Σπαθιά


Μια ανατολή σ'ένα κόσμο που δεν έχει πάψει
ποτέ να γυρίζει στην ίδια τροχιά
Όμως στην άλλη άκρη της γης
κάποιος βλέπει τον ήλιο να πέφτει ξανά
Όπως ξανά ανάβει ο φάρος του κόσμου
χτυπάει ξαφνικά τα φτερά του.
Το φως απ'την χώρα των πάγων
βουτάει στην καρδιά σου
κι υψώνεται πάνω απ'τη Γη του Πυρός

Πόσες φορές θα στρίψει αυτή η σφαίρα
ώσπου ν'αρχίσω πια να σ'εμπιστεύομαι
ώσπου να πάψω να φοβάμαι
Μου'χες πει πως θα 'ρθει κάποια μέρα
που ό,τι αντικρίζω θα το ερωτεύομαι
Τώρα αρχίζω και θυμάμαι

Η αγάπη πληρώνει κρυφά δολοφόνους
συχνάζει σε δρόμους χωρίς γυρισμό
Σ'αγαπώ κι ας μην ξέρω ούτε καν τ'όνομά σου
Ετοιμάσου σε λίγο θα πεις «σε μισώ!»
Είμαι το ένα μισό της σελήνης μην κλείνεις
σε λίγο γεμίζει το άλλο μισό
Η αγάπη γεμίζει ξανά τα ποτήρια
ρωτάει ποιος διψάει, ψιθυρίζεις «εγώ!»

I now begin to remember

Singer:  Pavlos Pavlides
Lyrics:  Ta Xylina Spathia (Pavlos Pavlides)
Music:   Ta Xylina Spathia


Sunrise in a world that has not ceased
to move in the same trajectory
Yet on the other side of the earth
someone sees again the sun setting
as again the world's lighthouse lightens up
it suddenly flaps its wings
The light from the land of glaciers
dives into your heart
and rises over the Land of Fire

How many times must this sphere spin
until I start trusting you
until I stop being afraid
You told me there will come a day
that I will be falling in love with all I encounter
I now begin to remember

Love secretly pays headhunters
it frequents alleys with no return
I love you although I do not even know your name
Prepare yourself as you will soon say "I hate you!"
I am one half of the moon do not close yet
the other half will soon fill up
Love fills up the glasses again
it asks who is thirsty, you whisper "I am"

This is a cryptic song that nevertheless evokes familiar images and their attendant emotions. The overarching theme is of coming to terms with oneself and to maintain an open-ended outlook that is not committed to particular outcomes.

In the opening verse, we are presented with scenes of the daily miracle that is life on this planet. In a reductive sense, the Earth is just a pile of star dust that orbits a ball of fire, in a cosmos of unfathomable proportions where such phenomena occur everywhere. Yet we anticipate every sunrise, no matter which corner of this planet we inhabit. Like flowers, we prosper when turn our sights to the luminous star. Our vitality depends on this connection. Beauty is inexhaustible, no matter how many times we see it repeat across the patterns we discern. A slice of the world is enough to engender in us a sense of awe at the grandeur of its workings. It is a continuum of life. From the smallest to the largest, we can always find that which is common in the multitude.

The refrain presents the poetic first person in a state contemplation. They wonder what more proof do they need to suspend their disbelief; the disbelief that they already have what it takes to carry forward unto the next dawn and then the ones after. With some experience, we learn that there is no one answer to life. It is the hesitation to trust our feelings that makes us operate in fear. This is because we make decisions on the basis of what others want. We do it to fit in and to enjoy the moments of validation: a poor substitute for emotional stability. Without the courage to take the initiative and to think for ourselves, the courage to be different by becoming who we can be, we are left in a condition of emptiness. No matter how much we enjoy social approval, we cannot lie to ourselves: deep down we know that our choices are not genuine and our wants are thus not met. Hence the pervasive dread that there is something out there that is better for us. Those who learn to trust their feelings have no fear of missing out on anything: they know exactly what they want.

The refrain appeals to a mysterious “you” figure, who seems to have already offered words of wisdom along the lines of the aforementioned. This could be a sage. It could also be the personification of impersonal forces. We can anthropomorphise phenomena, to make it seem like there is a tutelary figure in the skies that communicates with us through a series of impressions. Cosmic consistency allows us much, for we can be initiated into the mysteries by assiduously studying whatever is in the slice of world we are experiencing. The point is that this “you” figure explains how one should accept who they are in order to start loving.

The final verse runs counter to the boutique view of love as undying and eternal. Love comes and goes, like everything else we experience. Each instance cannot be replayed. We can only have a relationship while it lasts. Yet this fact does not deter us. When given the chance, we opt for another round, while knowing that we can still get disappointed. Combined with the above, we understand the significance of keeping in touch with our emotional side, to periodically assess our condition. There will be moments when we have to change course. It is exactly then when we begin to remember that only by staying true to our self can we act decisively to make that necessary next step.

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