Interpretation of “Personally” by Penny Baltatzi
For this entry in the series, I have selected a beautiful song that I can best describe as “straightforwardly erotic”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWjha97vCf0. It is a modern rendition of Personally, that was originally performed by Eleni Dimou (Ελένη Δήμου). The singer is Penny Baltatzi, who is also known for her Swing- and Latin- inspired contributions to the domestic music scene.
Below are the lyrics in Greek, my literal translation of them, and some further philosophical comments.
Προσωπικά
Ερμηνεία: Πέννυ Μπαλτατζή
Στίχοι: Λίνα Νικολακοπούλου
Μουσική: Γιάννης Σπανός
Προσωπικά, δεν έχω αισθήματα για σένα φιλικά
μονάχα βήματα θιγμένα ερωτικά
που μ'αναγκάζουνε να φεύγω βιαστικά
Προσωπικά, δε θέλω τίποτα μαζί σου λογικά
μου πάει ο ήχος της φωνής σου τραγικά
και δεν αλλάζω το κορμί σου με την άψογη ζωή σου τελικά
Προσωπικά, εγώ τρελαίνομαι
το παραμύθι σου και να'μαι και να φαίνομαι
Προσωπικά δεν έχω αίσθηση
αυτό που ζούμε αν είναι αλήθεια ή παραίσθηση
Προσωπικά, τυχαίνει βράδια με τραγούδια λαϊκά
ντυμένη κι άδεια κι αφημένη γενικά
να μεταφράζω τη σκηνή δραματικά
Προσωπικά, εμένα ο χρόνος μου γυρίζει κυκλικά
κι αλλάζει ο τόνος μου στο τέλος ειδικά
γι'αυτό να ξέρεις κι επιμένω, κι ας μου το'χεις ξεγραμμένο οριστικά
Personally
Singers: Penny Baltatzi
Lyrics: Lina Nikolakopoulou
Music: Yiannis Spanos
Personally, I have no friendly feelings for you
only steps touched erotically
that force me to flee hastily
Personally, I want nothing with you logically
the sound of your voice suits me tragically
and I do not change your body with your impeccable life finally
Personally, I lose my mind
to be your tale and to look the part
Personally I have no sense
if what we live is true or hallucination
Personally, it happens at nights with pop songs
dressed and empty and relaxed in general
to interpret the scene dramatically
Personally, my time turns cyclically
and my tone changes towards the end especially
so know and I insist even if you have it forgone definitively
As I have noted before in the interpretation of Just two days, the Greek language distinguishes between the phenomena of “falling in love” and “growing to love” or “love at-large”. The former is described as “eros” (έρως) or “erotas” (έρωτας), which is the name of the eponymous god. From there we get words like “erotic”. Love at-large is called “agape” (αγάπη): it encompasses feelings of affection towards family, friends, pets, et cetera. In Personally we get an honest account of erotic sensation. There is no ambiguity about it, no hesitation, no mixed signals. The poetic first person is communicating the essential feeling of erotas, namely, relinquishing control.
Erotas consists in the targeted suspension of strategising; targeted towards the object of the erotic expression. It resists planning and rationalising. It does not pause to ask about social norms, longer-term goals, potential benefits, and the like. Those are matters of logistics, of managing resources and of maximising opportunities. Erotas has a narrow field of application in which it reigns supreme. It is found in those instances of freedom from care, freedom from overthinking, such as when all you want is to be within range of your lover’s smile, to discern the look in their eyes which communicates everything without the need for words or other gestures.
There is a certain playfulness or process of discovery in erotas. It is why the song mentions the erotically touched steps that seek flight. This is not about a genuine want for a safe haven. No! It is how you discover that you are no longer operating in purely rational terms. Reason is but a facet of the human condition that some thinkers have mistakenly exalted as the superior human trait. The gods know better though. They can show us how brittle and misguided our intellectual superstructures are, such as through the power of subtlety. What do you feel when you are the sole intended recipient of that captivating stare? How is it to be strong and decisive, yet wanting to be treated by that certain one as a vulnerable form of life?
These questions do not require answers. Erotas is not about arguments or clever thought experiments. You know it when you feel it, when your defences are rendered ineffectual and all you do is focus on the little things: the turn of the head, the formation of that gentle smile, and the electrifying spark in the eyes. Personally thus insists on the authenticity of the moment: to transiently lose your mind and to forgo any desire for power in the relationship. Only then do you interpret the scene as an ancient Greek drama, an act of fate and of human design, of the gods making their works manifest through nuances we are powerless to master.