Maintaining projects long-term
This is an excerpt from my journal. I explain how long-term projects help me stay focused.
Local time is 23:00. I spent a combined total of five hours today doing manual labour by the stream. Half of that was in the morning and the remainder early in the afternoon, with a meal and then some computer work in between and afterwards.
What I am doing outdoors these days is reinforcing my already robust flood-control infrastructure. This has been an especially rainy winter, coming off the back of two years of drought. As expected, soil erosion occurs everywhere. I see it in the flowing waters downstream at the base of the valley where I live: the waters are muddy and carry with them gravel.
I collect all the coarse earth I can find. From gravel to small stones and even large rocks that I can barely lift off the ground. Everything is useful to me. Wherever there is a slippery spot in my land, I apply gravel on top to improve traction. Depending on the specifics, I will even make small holes to place stones in and then add soil on top. In effect, I am making parts of the surface harder. Rocks are useful to stairs and to reinforce all the edge from where water could flow.
The idea is to have soft terrain everywhere that I plant vegetables and solid ground on all the pathways as well as the perimeter. Part of this is my commitment to not fill the place up with concrete or make it look like the walled garden of some mansion. I want it to remain natural, even though it clearly is a largely controlled environment.
There is no pressing reason to do all of this project now. I could wait for the rainy days to pass and commit to it during the summer. Though this is not how I operate. My principle is to not postpone things. If I can do something, I do it. When I say something, it is the law. There are no excuses. In the summer there will be something else to do or, maybe, I will just want to sunbathe and enjoy my day.
Maintaining projects long-term requires a certain level of enthusiasm. You have to enjoy what you are doing. I wake up every morning with the same zeal to carry out what I have committed to. I like that I have an impact on my immediate environment and that I experience the feedback loop between my actions and their consequences.
By discerning the results of my deeds, I have a better appreciation of my power as well as its limitations. I am powerful, in the sense of having the means to make certain things happen. Though I understand I am not omnipotent. Everything requires a considerable amount of physically taxing work. Those five hours today are barely noticeable in terms of changes to the surroundings. There is a little bit here and a little bit there. Nothing fancy.
Because I have been doing such work for long enough, I can estimate how many workhours some initiative will take. I do not feel the pressure to quit abruptly, as I never get frustrated with my progress. I also do not set lofty targets: whatever I commit to will be done when it is ready. The process is organic. If I need to stop, I do it without feeling guilty about it. Though, generally, I work for long hours. The point is that I do not turn myself into a servant of my own standards. I remain in control, since I interpret my rules mindfully. If the circumstances demand that I suspend their application, I do it without hesitation. Otherwise, I would be reckless.
The immediate feedback loop of what I do informs my situational awareness. I know what kind of initiative is viable and what is impractical. I have an intuitive understanding of the economics of my time. I will intentionally settle for a makeshift solution, if it buys me enough time to collect money in pursuit of an improved arrangement. Or, simply, if it allows me to prioritise another task in the meantime. I do not expect perfection, because I am aware of my limited resources. I love the little things, the nuances, those details that are otherwise easy to miss. I do not need much to feel happy.
People sometimes tell me something along the lines of “I like your life there and wish I could do the same”. It is one of those cases where the adage “be careful what you wish for” applies fully. What most fellas usually mean is that they would like to retain the life they have and combine it with the serenity of a rural setting. This is not how it is in my world though.
My life is one of austerity. Only a small part of that is my choice. There are inherent constraints to a life in a sparsely populated region that I cannot overcome. For example, I do not have any friends here. I know most of the locals, but we merely are on good terms. I do not have a deep connection with anybody. Nobody knows what I did today, whether I created something or not, if I have any intellectual pursuits… If I were to disappear tomorrow, nobody would lose anything. I am an individual in what effectively is an alien world.
When there are few people around, people who are considerably older than you, you do not get to choose who you spend your time with. Either you pick the one option for socialisation or you just spend your days alone. I do the latter. The good thing is that I can either work on my projects without interruptions or go for hikes with my dogs. So I am always doing something I enjoy. Though the point is that I can tolerate this state of affairs because I do not ask for much. Another person, especially someone who thinks that my life is cool but has never lived this way before, will probably not have the same tolerance for uneventfulness.
Against this backdrop, maintaining projects for years is a reliable way to remain focused and to not be disheartened. I tend to the work that requires my input. Its results benefit my life in a tangible way. I remain at the peak of my powers, as sharp and active as ever, largely because what I do does not take a toll on my state of mind. I will continue to quietly do my thing in this little corner. Nobody will notice, though I always take stock of the progress, which is all that matters.
It is time to go to bed now. The dogs have been sleeping for a couple of hours already. We will all be up at sunrise, ready to start our morning with the same decisiveness that defined this day.