Finding enthusiasm in the face of boredom
This is an entry from my journal. I describe how boredom works and why it helps to be honest with our feelings.
My dogs understand all the verbal and non-verbal cues that signify “I am done with the computer for now”. I had a meeting until 21:00 this night. As soon as I said “goodbye”, the dogs raised their head and started stretching. They know that once I am done, I will spend time with them. Specifically, we will go out for a walk. The only exception is during midday, when it is relatively warm (or extra hot during the summer). The dogs will still want to be outdoors, but only to sunbathe for a few minutes before eventually moving to the shade. We did go for an hour-long walk and now I am back to write this entry before going to bed.
One quality I like in dogs is how consistently eager they are. If it is their time for a walk, they will want to go and they will be excited about it. With people it is more complex, as we sometimes do not feel like doing something even when the prevailing conditions are favourable. We may simply be bored.
Boredom and the mental fogginess it creates influences how we feel about our duties. Sometimes, boredom is a coping mechanism to make us suspend some intense work schedule we are committed to. This is benign and desirable, because we often lack the foresight to stop before overworking ourselves. Though boredom can also be detrimental to us. It is so when it keeps us inert in a situation that we would rather not be in for too long.
I think of boredom as a mechanism of short-term preservation. What it lacks is a view of the long-term, which we can only get through reason. When boredom qua preservation helps us safeguard our vitality from the potential harm of burnout, then it is good for us long-term. Let this be the “preservation of essence”, which inhibits what we would normally do. Though there is also the “preservation of momentum”, else the kind of boredom that makes us stay in the state we are in and inhibits actions that would undo it. This can be problematic for us long-term, such as when we get used to bad habits.
Boredom, then, is neither good nor bad, or it is both good and bad. We have to consider the specifics in light of our life’s trajectory. Only then can be tell if preserving what we have is going to contribute to our wellness. The longer-term view also means that we operate with sustainability in mind. It is not enough for something to be pleasant right now: it must also not be undermining our abilities for the moments after.
This is where my competitiveness comes into play. When it comes to my own decisions, I am a stern and demanding judge. If I think about the situation of me being asked by my dogs to join them on a long walk at night, I can come with a perfectly valid reason to declare how bored I am. It would be the same as admitting to fatigue, which is okay and I would indeed try to keep it short in such a case. Though I did not feel tired and thus would not allow myself the easy way out. Not only did I go for a walk, but it was also an intense one.
My competitiveness is not erga omnes. It is only directed towards me. This is because I only know how I feel and thus sense that a certain course of action is appropriate. The propriety of it does not exist in a vacuum though. It can only be right if the particularities make it possible. As such, I do not make prescriptions for others: they can do as they feel. So it makes no sense to issue a pronouncement along the lines of “go for a walk at night, no matter what”. That would be uninformed and presumptuous.
I keep describing those as “walks”, but they are hikes. We move up the valley. The slope is steep. This is not like going to the park. It requires more effort. The dogs love it, as do I. For them, it is an outlet for their energy and predatory instincts. Once they get back home, they are peaceful. I think the same is true for humans, though we are more complex in our behaviour and our wants.
Humans can express their desire for openness in physical as well as cognitive ways. For example, the hunter and the philosopher make manifest two modes of this same propensity. The hunter will be out there, determined to track the game or wait at the right spot. They will be excited when they find that which they are seeking. The philosopher is on a more abstract quest, albeit one that exhibits the same patterns. They search for the “open space”, which is to say that they cannot just take a claim as a given: they need to examine it, else to look around for what else is out there. And the philosopher will similarly be working towards something that can be acquired.
Openness, then, is not a descriptor for how contemplative one is. It marks a propensity that can be expressed through deeds and/or thoughts. This understanding helps me see the connections and be inspired by phenomena that are at once different than my immediate experience yet unmistakably familiar.
There is something in us which triggers a sense of excitement. Knowing what that is helps us muster the enthusiasm to push against the natural tendency for boredom as preservation of momentum. We need to do as much when we understand that the state-to-be-preserved is not benign for us long-term.
I do this consistently with my walks, but also by controlling my work time. I save myself from burnout by being honest with how I feel about things. Honesty, here, is how I maintain situational awareness with regard to my own condition. I do not mindlessly do something because I am supposed to. I check if it still makes sense in light of the circumstances. If, for example, I am not inspired to look into my Emacs packages for a day or two, then I do not pressure myself thus. I do something else instead, so I preserve my essence.
To know ourselves better helps us do small things each day that have a positive cumulative effect on our longevity. I am inspired by dogs and am also dog-like in this regard. Our walk tonight in the mountains under the moonlight was beautiful. I will welcome the coming day with the same zest and will continue to finds ways to stay as sharp as ever.